After many years as a practitioner in sexual health, I have found that the psychotherapy session is often devoted to understanding intimacy. Clients will search the web for “sex therapist” because they are in search of a professional who is going to address and help them “fix” or “solve” their problems in the bedroom. However, all too often whatever the sexual issue they are experiencing is often accompanied by a lack of intimacy with their partner.
What is intimacy?
Intimacy can be defined many different ways. The most common described form of intimacy my clients can relate to are their sexual relationships. To be intimate can mean to be close, familiar, comfortable, private, or affectionate. We can achieve intimacy in different ways; emotionally, physically, sexually, intellectually and spiritually are some that come to mind. But how do we personally define intimacy? Can we really achieve the ultimate feeling of intimacy that is at the core of having healthy relationships? In order to make things great in the bedroom, it starts with what’s outside of the bedroom and beyond. To achieve intimacy, we have to understand ourselves, our vulnerabilities, our core hurts and how they affect the way we function as individuals.